Scared to Death!

 

WARNING:  Some people do not like to think of the prospect of death.  If you are one of those people, you may not want to read this post. 

In a few weeks, I will undergo a medical procedure known as Cardiac Ablation. Cardiac ablation is a procedure that can correct heart rhythm problems (arrhythmias).

According to the Mayo Clinic, ablation uses long, flexible tubes (catheters) that are “inserted through a vein in your groin and threaded to your heart to correct structural problems in your heart that cause an arrhythmia. Cardiac Ablation works by scarring the tissue in the heart that causes the abnormal heart rhythm.” In my case, the arrhythmia to correct is Atrial Fibrillation.  I have had this condition for several years. Until the latter part of this past year, I have taken medication for it and it has not been an issue.  During my routine yearly visit with my cardiologist this past December, I learned medication was no longer in control of the situation.

About a month ago, I wore a heart rate monitor for about 30 days, and it was determined that I am in A-fib 26% of the time.  Therefore, the doctor wants to do this procedure on me.  If it works, I will no longer have to take any type of heart medicine or blood thinner.

I am scared to death to do this!  As is my standard modi operandi (M.O.), I have been trying not to think of how frightened I am.  I am frightened of “biting it” during the procedure.  Moreover, by my thinking, if I allow myself to feel this way then it inevitably will happen.  How silly is that?

As I was stepping out of the shower this morning, I realized I needed to go with my emotions and not be afraid to feel. In experiencing my fear, I realized I am not afraid of dying.  I am afraid of what will become of those that I hold so dearly when I am gone.

Okay, so I am not one of those people that are so self-centered that I think my husband and children won’t be able to live life without me.  I know life goes on, but especially for my children…who will be there for them when they need that “motherly love”?  I DO know there is no love like a mother’s love.  I believe a mother’s love is the only true UNCONDITIONAL love we will ever experience.  Will they know how much I loved them?  Will it be enough to get them through to the end of their lives?

I experienced the devastating loss of my father in 2004.  I still have my mother. At age 58, I am not yet ready to envision what life will be like without her.  I still call her every Saturday to check in.  I continue to enjoy hearing how proud she is of me and my sister.  I still like to hear her words of encouragement when I need them.

If I die, who will do this for my children?  Yes , they are grown; ages 30 and 28.  They still have a long way to go before they are settled in their lives.  Who will encourage them?  Who will tell them how proud they make me?  Who will love them to the moon and back?

Garth Brooks said it best in the lyrics to his song If Tomorrow Never Comes.

If tomorrow never comes

“Will she (they) know how much I loved her (them)

Did I try in every way to show her (them) every day

That she’s (they’re) my only one

And if my time on earth were through

And she (they)must face the world without me

Is the love I gave her (them)  in the past

Gonna be enough to last

If tomorrow never comes.”

I have come to one conclusion.  I WILL NOT BITE THE DUST!   Not yet!

On to happier thoughts!  Here are some cards I’ve been working on with a few retiring products.  Hope you like them!  Until next time…

Happy Stamping!

Josie2

Thank you w ith b&w banners

Everything Eleonore Thanks

Everything Eleonore Get Well

Cheer Up Buttercup-Watercolor Wonder Note Card 5

Today’s card is a cheerful one and the fifth in my series of Watercolor Wonder Designer Note Cards.  I love the colors.  They remind me of spring.  Today’s post is a short one.  Not much new to share with you.  Mainly wanted to share this card with you.  Hope you enjoy your visit here today.  Until next time…

Happy Stamping!

Josie

Watercoler Wonder Note Card - 4

The circle stamp is from the  In the Bag Paper Pumpkin. (135504)

 

Delightful Dozen Get Well

My first week back to school after two weeks off for the holidays has gone and I am very thankful!  It was brutal!  Although we didn’t have students last Monday, teachers had to be there, which in itself is not a big deal.  Getting out of bed at 5:00 a.m. after two weeks of sleeping until 9:00 daily was difficult, to say the least.  Our students returned on Tuesday.  After not seeing their friends for a while, all they wanted to do was socialize.  And the more the day progressed, the more they wanted to socialize.  They have a tendency to wake up completely after lunch, and afternoon classes are usually a little more lively than morning.  I stand corrected…A LOT more lively!  Wednesday was a little better, especially after I had three students leave the room.  Thursday was excellent, but then it started all over again on Friday…kids were ready to go home for the weekend, and so was I.  Here’s to hoping this coming week is better.  I really do enjoy teaching, and I love interacting with the kids.  What I DO NOT  have patience for is the outright defiance, disrespect, and disrupting of my classes.  I have one group that is consistently behind my others because I spend more time getting them to “behave” than I do teaching.  I feel sorry for the kids that are in there that actually do want to learn.  Lunch detentions and office referrals are proving to be unproductive.  Ugh!  Only a few more months.

This is a card that I whipped up last Sunday after learning on Saturday that my mother had slipped on ice in her brother’s driveway in Ohio.  She broke her hip and had surgery this past Sunday.  She is doing well now…she sounds better and has a very positive attitude.  She is 82 years old and very active and independent and is determined to get back to her independence.  I am thrilled about that.  She is a strong lady!  That is one of many good qualities that I inherited from her.  I am thrilled because many seniors her age give in to making little progress and won’t do what their physical therapists want them to do.  Statistically, many don’t go back to their former selves; some even pass away due to other complications.  But Mom is relatively healthy and goes to the gym at least 3 times per week.  Soooooo…fingers are crossed.   I mailed her this card on Tuesday, then found out they moved her to rehab on Wednesday. I am expecting to get it back in the mail any day now.  I’ll have to resend it.

Delightful Dozen Get Well

Here’s what I used on this card.

Whisper White Card Stock  100730

Bermuda Bay Card Stock  131197

Real Red Card Stock  102482

Bermuda Bay Classic Ink  131171

Real Red Classic Ink  126949

Smokey Slate Classic Ink  131179

Delightful Dozen Stamp Set  128547-w/122652-c

Gorgeous Grunge Stamp Set    130514-w/130517-c

Circle Card Thinlit Die  133480

Rhinestone Basic Jewels  119246

Chevron Border Punch  132154

That’s all I have for today.  Until next time…

Happy Stamping!

Josie