Life Changes

Happy April, Stampers!

Hope everyone’s month has been a good one and everyone had a blessed Easter.

I am going to forego the video tutorial this month, as it has not been a particularly good month as far as stamping is concerned. Neither the motivation nor the desire has been there for me. Heck, it has not been a productive month in any regard.

My children’s father passed away on April 10, Good Friday. We learned on Dec. 13 of last year that he had leukemia, AML, the deadliest form. So, for the past few months he was in and out of the hospital with chemo treatments, etc. At one point, we even thought he might be able to have a bone marrow transplant, but he took a turn for the worse around the first week of April and he did not make it.

Both my children are adults. Our oldest moved away to Virginia Beach two years ago shortly after out granddaughter was born. She just recently moved back at the end of February to be closer to her dad and the rest of the family. She said learning of his illness was the final sign she needed that Colorado was where she should be. Unfortunately, she only got to visit with her dad in person once before the hospitals closed to all visitors because of Corona Virus. Toward the end, I was not sure if the kids were even going to get to see their father in person again before he passed. I was incredibly angry about the entire situation! No one should have to die alone!

The Saturday before he passed, he called me on the phone and told me he felt the doctors would soon be telling him there was nothing more they could do for him and that all he wanted was to die peacefully at home. He asked if I would prepare one final family meal for everyone once he got there. I agreed. If that was his final wish, then that is what would take place. However, I told him not to give up hope because where there is life there is hope. He insisted his mind was fighting, but he just couldn’t get his body to cooperate.

Unfortunately, his feelings were correct, and his physicians recommended hospice care for him by the end of the week. The hospital did make an exception and allowed the kids to visit him in person they day before he got home. He arrived home by 12:30 p.m. on April 10^th, and by 4:22 p.m. he had passed. He kept saying how good it was to be home and surrounded by those that he loved. I was not there when he passed. My children and his sister were with him. I had been home about an hour when the phone call came. I never DID say goodbye; I just said, “We will see you tomorrow!” He thanked me for all I had done. I gave him my standard answer, which was that I had not done anything. Because I do not feel that I had done anything he would not have done for me if needed. He replied, “You’ve done more than you realize.” Maybe I should have said more. But I knew he was dying, and I was in too emotional a state.

My children’s father and I would have been divorced 27 years this coming May. We were married for 12 years. At first, like most divorced couples, our relationship was very strained; we had to get through a lot of ugly stuff. Our children were young. They were in preschool and first grade when we first separated. My wise mother pushed me to be friends with him, regardless of what had transpired between the two of us. “Your children are more important,” she always said, “than any bad thing that has ever happened to you. It is always the children that pay the highest price in a divorce. You won’t be sorry.” And she was right, as she usually is. My children have expressed their appreciation for my being there for him. My son, now 33, told me when he was 19 that he appreciated the fact that I never forced them to choose. I always felt that if I made my children choose it would only turn them against me. He was, after all, their father

Holidays will not be the same; life will not be the same. I had known this man for over 40 years. He was 65 years old for only 3 weeks when he passed. I always felt he would go before me, but I never thought it would be at such a young age. At first it felt unbelievable that he was gone. It was difficult to accept that he is no longer of this world. That his physical presence was no more. Now at times I get upset with him for dying. I know it sounds crazy, but I get angry that he has left our children fatherless at such an early age and they now must deal with settling his affairs. He left a will so everything is pretty much cut and dry, but I know I still needed my parents when I was in my thirties…heck, I still need my mother who will soon be 89. But at least when she passes, we will be able to say she had a long and fulfilling life. My former spouse had a fulfilling life, but it was too short. His death makes me feel vulnerable.

I am blessed in that I have a wonderful husband that always accepted my friendship with my former spouse and even became friends with him for the sake of my children, our children. And I know my husband will be there for me and our children whenever we need them.

Life changes in an instant. Always tell the people you love how much you care about them. ALWAYS! If they are going out the door to the grocery store, tell them! Washing the car…tell them. ALWAYS tell them…before you cannot tell them anymore.

So, I do have a cards I can share with you today. I created these last month and I used them this month as part of my Card Club to Go for April. Card Club to Go is something new I am trying during these COVID 19 fun times.

Wanted to let you know, I’ve included separate supply lists for each card at the end of this post. And, as always, the supply lists also include current bundles that go with the stamp set. In some cases, the entire bundle is not used in the creation of the card.